As every moment in pop culture–and real life–is quick to remind us, it’s an extrovert’s world. If you’re the kind of person who is capable of being quick-witted, easy company whenever you’re thrown into social situations with strangers; congratulations! The world is your oyster. But for the rest of us common folk, navigating social scenarios that aren’t only composed of people we know and love can be hard–and so can making friends after a point in time. However, it’s not a lost cause. There are several psychology tips and tricks that can help you make your way around daunting social situations; keep them in your arsenal and you’ll be the life of the party in no time…
6 psychology tricks to make new friends and improve your social life
1. Remember people’s names
It may seem like forgetting people’s names gives you a too-cool-to-care vibe, but it’s actually the opposite that people find endearing. Remembering people’s names, using them in conversations, and recalling them without prompting from them or a reintroduction the next time you meet them has a very positive impact. It makes them feel listened to and engaged with and thereby makes you come across as a good listener who cares about both them and the conversation you’re having.
2. Check your mood at the door
The only thing more contagious than CoVid? A bad mood (we’re kidding, wear masks). But while your foul vibes aren’t life-threatening they are still terribly off-putting. ‘Giving off vibes’ might seem like a fruity notion, but Psychology Today records that people do, in fact, pick up on what you’re sending out; and if what you’re emanating is boredom, anger, or general disdain, it’s basically a social force field.
3. The right kind of pause
Getting a conversation going and talking to someone is important, but equally important is the act of listening, and making somebody feel heard. To allow people to truly engage with you, and the conversation that you’re having, Psychology Today recommends a short pause after they share a particular brief answer. It shows that you are giving them the time to talk more or elaborate on what they have said. Timing that pause is important, though–because that’s how an awkward silence can rear its ugly head.
4. Saying (and doing) good things
This might seem like a large scale operation–how does ‘doing good things’ or saying them, in the long run, help you in that crucial party moment? The way to apply it is simple. Just doing something kind for someone (offering to hold their jacket while they nip to the loo), or saying something nice to someone (like giving them a genuine compliment about something you like or admire about them) can make somebody feel especially fondly of you.
5. Chew gum
Sounds odd, no? How does chewing gum–an activity notoriously associated with ‘teenage punk’ attitude’, put you at the top of your social game? Psychology Today recommends chewing gum beforehand, though, because the action of it sends a signal to your brain that allows it to believe that you are comfortable, and to relax.
6. Go in with things to talk about
If going with the flow socially is not your MO, a little bit of organisation never fails. Going in with some prepared subjects–say, a popular show on Netflix that’s just put out a new season, or a piece of trending news–is always helpful. That way, you have it in your arsenal if the conversation comes to a crashing halt, and you can whip it out for emergencies. As it often does, it will lead to other things to talk about.